Why posting my wedding pics was hard…
I want you to know that posting my wedding pictures on social media took a LOT courage.
Laws and judgment have been a strong influence in my lifelong quest to live up to everyone else’s expectations. That’s what happens when you are a people pleaser and fearful of others’ judgments.
Believing in the kind of religious constraints that I was raised with created intense and painful conflict when I fell (very unexpectedly) in love with a woman. My brain told me this couldn’t happen, it was wrong. But my heart was overflowing and everything else in my spirit kept pushing me forward. I researched and spent hours pondering whether my feelings were ok. My brain had been the guiding force in my life for many years. Things in my life were pretty black and white, right and wrong, good and bad. And now I found myself in gorgeous shades of gray with sparkling glimmers of a type of love I had never experienced. And this was wrong??
My coaching mentor, Martha Beck confirmed for me that “perfect love” can never be wrong. Embracing insight from others wiser than me, and with life experience far beyond mine, helped me understand that the narrow view I had could be broadened in such a way that I could learn to accept this “perfect love.”
Allowing myself to be moved by my heart and not my head was scary, but it reeked of freedom. Understanding that finding my own way is exactly what I should be doing – not making decisions to please others or out of fear that someone might not agree with me. And if you don’t, that’s ok. I’m good with that, honestly. I have learned that loving and accepting YOU just the way you are, is right for me. Loving others “as is” brings great peace and joy to me.
My hope is that the love that was so palpable on the eve of our wedding is what motivates someone to examine their own judgments and recognize that loving one another and accepting one another’s choices is truly the work of whatever higher authority or power you believe in….or don’t! My heart is overflowing with love for Tam, for the brave decision we made to share it with others and to live it out loud.
From a 67 year-old newlywed with a heart full of love and gratitude. October 17, 2024
